Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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