Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
