I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.