i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello