My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another