I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize