"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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