I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
