just come out here and I will go home with you...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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