Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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