I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Congratulations! We have a period
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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