lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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