Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize