Cold hands, warm shart.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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