thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
