Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
