the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
