wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
