take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
