It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
