I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize