So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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