I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome