I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...