awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that