well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
love makes seman taste better
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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