Need sex. Gaining weight.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
