Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
