Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID