Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

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(586): View more from Michigan

it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

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(914): View more from New York

Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.

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(801): View more from Utah

But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.

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