i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
