Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
kristin has been a bad kristin
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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