I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize