im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
