I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
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Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off