70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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