Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize