tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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