i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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