i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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