I cut my penus on the lid.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize