i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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