your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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