I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
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passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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