Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???