I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety