Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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