Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
