Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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