Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
