what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it