everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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