Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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