My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
