hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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