Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize