And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
nutella sex= disaster
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
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So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I deserve this hangover.