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We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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