we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
